Grief, Gratitude and Grace

When asked yesterday for a word or two to summarize my feelings of the past few weeks, I said, “Grief.”


Grief for the hardness of one man’s heart that made him deaf to George Floyd’s pleas for life.


Grief that it took such a horrific act to wake so many of us from complacency and ignorance.


Grief for the people I know and care about who have had to endure a lifetime of racism and injustice.


Grief for the long hard battle against slavery and oppression and the curse it has on succeeding generations. From William Wilberforce to Frederick Douglass, to workers in the underground railroad and those who fought in the Civil War with the conviction to free the captives…. It causes me to weep, to think of all those who have gone before in this fight and yet here we still are. 


Yes, there has been progress and yet at the same time our culture has turned even more divisive.


For me there is another more hopeful side of the story.


For nearly twenty years, I worked in the heart of the city, in one of the poorest neighborhoods in the nation. At the City Mission I worked mostly behind the scenes but was honored to meet and work alongside so many who had given years, even decades to bringing life and hope to so many. 


I think it would not be hard for me to find enough material to write a book to capture the stories of the people I worked with who continued to fight the good fight with perseverance, resilience, grace and steadfast faith.

Looking at this photo this morning, I wept again, but this time with gratitude and deep respect for the heart of service these three represented.  They were the featured volunteers highlighted in The City Mission’s centennial book, A Door of Hope 1910-2010. Together they served over 100 years. 

Especially in these times, I have a deeper appreciation for what a difference it can make to actually be in relationship with people who have had such different experiences from me. Side by side, hand in hand, working within our own roles and capacities, we carried the work forward and saw lives changed in significant ways. To God be the Glory.


My hope is that this would encourage us to find ways, even small ways, to be in relationship and partnership in standing FOR causes that bring reconciliation, restoration and redemption.

Ponder the path of your feet

It's good to be reflective at times, looking back to what worked and what didn't, what moved us closer to where we hope to be, what has set us back even further. 

But extended periods of reflecting back cannot be done while speeding down the highway of life. That's why I appreciate having some quiet blocks of time at the side of the road, especially at the beginning of the year.

Yesterday I had several errands to accomplish. Before I left the house, I had a plan and a route to make the best use of my time and gas. 

Similarly, I'm taking time now to begin mapping out some plans for 2020, with prayers for discernment and a healthy dose of openness and flexibility to the unanticipated. In the process, I'm buoyed up by the remembrance of God's faithfulness to lead through the unexpected twists and turns in life.

I recall with gratitude many specific instances when He clearly pointed me in a very different direction than what I had planned. At times it felt like untying my little boat from safe moorings and sailing off into a massive sea of unknowns, much like C.S. Lewis’ Voyage of the Dawn Treader. But I hate to think where my life would be now if I hadn't followed those leadings. My life has been immensely enriched as a result, in relationships, in vocation, in faith.

“Let your eyes look directly forward, and your gaze be straight before you. Ponder the path of your feet; then all your ways will be sure. Do not swerve to the right or to the left; turn your foot away from evil.” Proverbs 4: 25-27 ESV

“In their hearts humans plan their course, but the Lord establishes their steps.” Proverbs 16: 9 NIV

"Now all glory to God, who is able, through his mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think." Ephesians 3:20 NLT

A fairy tale come true

I have been writing an inspirational sketch to send with Christmas cards for many years. Why do I do it?  Because by nature I am an “encourager.” I want to speak a few words that could give a measure of grace, strength and hope. We all can benefit from a good word to lift our spirits, especially at this time of year, but this is especially true for those facing an uncertain future, a scary diagnosis, a broken relationship, or just the daily challenges and setbacks.  


In the first days of advent I wait for the inspiration. Usually it comes from daily circumstances or something I’ve read. Regardless, it eventually all circles back to the original Christmas story. That’s because in that One Big Story of God becoming a human, living with us, dying for us, rising again, it’s THE message of love, hope and redemption that we all need.


How do I say it in this small space, but that all our little stories, all our hopes and fears, are wrapped up in that One Big Story. I’ve heard with my own ears the first-hand accounts of the down-and-out, the homeless, the broken, even those well off but still left feeling like something is missing. They all came to a place where they realized that His Story, ancient and true, is the only one that gives meaning to their own. 


For many of us that One Big Story can become so familiar that we lose our sense of wonder, or, it can seem so far-fetched, its hard to believe. It is for that reason that I read insightful writers who share a fresh perspective that captures the imagination and keeps the story alive.


This year I discovered a book and music album by Andrew Peterson. He was a preacher’s kid but grew up captivated by science fiction and fantasy novels as a form of escape. Eventually it was those same stories that primed his interest in the most fantastic story of all time, one that spoke most fully to his painful longing and pointed him to his heart’s true Home. He writes,


“…the Bible isn’t a book of rules or a book of heroes. The Bible is most of all, a story. It’s an adventure story about a young hero who comes from a far country to win back his lost treasure. It’s a love story about a brave prince who leaves his palace, his throne, everything, to rescue the one he loves. 


It’s like the most wonderful fairy tale that has come to real life… The best thing about this story is, it’s true. There are lots of stories in the Bible, but all the stories are telling one big story, the story of how God loves His children and comes to rescue them. 


… at the center of the story, there’s a baby. Every story in the Bible whispers his name. He is like the missing piece in a puzzle, the piece that makes all the other pieces fit together. And suddenly you can see a beautiful picture.”*


For many of us, our life’s story has turned out quite different than we had hoped with its disappointments and struggles. But all these centuries later, Jesus is still the puzzle piece that makes all the other pieces fit together. He came to bring meaning and hope to your story, my story, every story.

“…they will call him Immanuel, which means ‘God is with us.’”  Matthew 1:23 NIV

Good thoughts about labor...

I'm thinking that most people don't have inspiring thoughts as it pertains to Labor Day. We're just happy to have a day off work and perhaps enjoy some festivities. 

But somehow this day always stirs up gratitude for the somewhat convoluted trajectory my career path has taken. I won't start at the beginning, there's too much to tell. Instead I begin with my

move to Cleveland. 

I arrived here twenty plus years ago, having enrolled as a full time student in the photography/graphic arts program and Cuyahoga Community College, with the support from the unemployment bureau, since my grant-funded position in Sandusky had ended.

I had just transitioned out of a long stint in social services, the last position being the management of a crisis intervention team for adults with a dual diagnosis of mental illness and what was then called mental retardation. It was a deeply rewarding but very challenging position. 

It was a scary leap but those six months in school with students half my age turned out to be therapeutic for the weariness of working so many years in a challenging field. And it was a turning point in my, awakening a deeper awareness and appreciation for how I was designed to integrate my creative strengths into my vocation.  

Even then, I could not envision where it would eventually take me, to very unexpected places.  

For a time, I worked as a portrait photographer while continuing to explore photojournalism in a variety of contexts. After about five years of that I stumbled on an opportunity to use both my writing and photography skills in a communications position at The City Mission, as the writer, editor and photographer for the newsletter, annual report and other print and online media. Eventually that evolved into grant writing which brought further career fulfillment in being able to use my skills to raise support for worthy causes. 

Now I work for the Cuyahoga Valley Scenic Railroad, still in grant writing and after all these years, feel grateful that I am compensated a competitive salary and benefits for what I am good at and enjoy doing. Even more remarkable to me is that I arrived at this place without having taken any college classes in writing, journalism or communications. It was all a matter of trying to be sensitive to God’s leading and how he created me, with a particular set of interests and skills. 

My journey into this field started with my camera and a leap into the unknown. My camera is still with me often and continues to inspire and accompany my writing. 

There are so many twists and turns in my career path, many of them unexpected. But at every turn, it was clearly evident that God was going before me and being faithful to lead me through the challenges and uncertainties, and bringing fulfillment and delight in ways that I could never have orchestrated myself.

"...we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago."  Ephesians 2: 10 NLT

Foundations of my writing life

I distinctly remember my Dad getting frustrated in trying to help me with my bookkeeping homework in high school. I am not sure how I ended up in the business curriculum instead of college prep. I clearly was not cut out for it.

More importantly, it is healing to think of all the ways my Dad encouraged me in my writing and photography.

He kept a handful of my writings from elementary school. He provided a camera for me at a young age and set a good example of documenting our childhood with his own SLR camera.

When I started writing a blog as an adult, he printed out my many blog posts and kept them in a binder. He made a copy of the handwritten prayer I read for a Thanksgiving dinner.

He often remarked that my photography was better than his, but I think he was probably much better at the technical aspects of getting a good exposure with a camera that required manual metering.

And he extended to me the invitation of writing obituaries for Mom and him. He mentioned it often and suggested I should write it ahead of time because perhaps I wouldn't be in a good frame of mind to do so when it was needed.

When I knew Mom's passing was imminent, I began thinking about it, but didn't write it until after she passed. Dad often remarked to me how much better it was than so many others he had read. He never again mentioned writing his ahead of time, he was confident it would be good.

What a privilege to be entrusted to effectively capture the essence of one’s life and to honor ninety plus years of living in a few paragraphs.

Thank you Dad, for all the ways you encouraged me in these things.

From the last lines of his obituary...

"The story-teller has fallen silent. His many years of family record keeping have been passed on to the next generation. And another of the “Greatest Generation” has passed on, with the invitation to those who follow to carry on the good fight."

Timelss resolve

155 years ago....a timeless New Year's resolve, from the diary of my great-great grandfather Loren Webb... He was in Minnesota at the time.

1 January, 1864

New Years Day, January 1st, 1864 This is the coldest day I have ever experienced. Mercury is 36 degrees below zero. I am at Hamline University still. I attended watch meeting last night and blessed be God, I was enabled to adopt some good resolves for the future and by the help of Divine Grace, I will mark this year with a greater growth in Christ and more work for the salvation of man. My heart is awakened to the great object of life. I thank God I am his. I am ready and willing to become what God wishes and go where he directs and perform his will. These times do I read and pray and the Word is growing sweeter and sweeter.

https://lorenwebb.blogspot.com/.../12/1-january-1864.html...

What a bold commitment of surrender.

Clear-headed

As we think about the year past, and into the year ahead, may we have uppermost in our minds, that every day brings us one day closer to Christ's return.

The apostle Paul admonished the church in Thessalonica to "be on guard, stay alert, be clearheaded..." To me, being clear-headed infers focus and intentionality in listening to and following God's leading. May we be implementing practices that clear our hearts and minds of distractions and put us in a place to hear.

"But you aren’t in the dark about these things, dear brothers and sisters, and you won’t be surprised when the day of the Lord comes like a thief.[b] 5 For you are all children of the light and of the day; we don’t belong to darkness and night. 6 So be on your guard, not asleep like the others. Stay alert and be clearheaded. 7 Night is the time when people sleep and drinkers get drunk. 8 But let us who live in the light be clearheaded, protected by the armor of faith and love, and wearing as our helmet the confidence of our salvation."
1 Thessalonians 5: 4-8 NLT