Take care of yourself and leave a legacy

Have been thinking about how my parents' generation and my own came to rely on pharmaceuticals and OTC remedies for whatever ails us. Thankfully, awareness of better alternatives is growing.

My Dad was always physically and socially active into his last years. He never watched television and that probably extended his life. He used to say that he just wanted to stay around long enough to take care of my Mom who struggled with dementia. When Mom passed away in Sept 2013, he missed her deeply but he still seemed driven to persevere even though I'm sure at times he had to push himself. Shortly before Mom passed, he had bought a big zero-turn mower and seemed to get a kick out of it. He not only mowed his own yard but a couple of neighbors' yards too.

Both of my parents relied a lot on pharmaceuticals. Then Dad had an awakening. He had been under the weather and wouldn't come out of the house when his friends called. One of the neighbors took it upon himself to just go in the house and check on him and then insisted that he was taking my Dad to the hospital. That's when it was discovered his blood sugar was super high. He was in ICU for a while getting stabilized. I'm so grateful for the neighbor taking that initiative because it is likely he would gone into a diabetic coma or died.

On discharge he was prescribed insulin injections and my brother and I were with him that day when the home health care nurse came to show him how to do the injections. It was New Year's Day.

Shortly thereafter he announced that he was going to get off the insulin and maintained tight control of his diet. He used to pooh-pooh my ideas for alternatives but this time he was open to a couple ideas that would help control his sugar. 

Then he took up an exercise program at the age of 92. Since it was winter he started out walking back and forth between the back of the house to the front door and gradually built up to doing that 50 times more than once a day. Then he bought some dumbbells and put in some extra arm movements when he walked. He was off the insulin within a few months. I distinctly remember him telling me that his vision, energy, mood, and sleep were all greatly improved. 

Maybe I get some of my determination, perseverance and passion for a healthy lifestyle from Dad. I'm grateful.

Thank you Dad, for your tender care of Mom and for taking care of yourself and giving us more treasured time to spend with you.

War of words

The escalating divisiveness and incivility among us is weakening our nation. A house divided against itself cannot stand. We could be seen as engaged in a civil war with words where no one truly wins.

We desperately need to learn (or get better at) diplomacy, civility and effective conflict resolution. Granted there are no easy answers to our complex issues, but all the name calling, personal attacks and incivility is just making things worse. The more engaged we are in that, the more divided we become and the less able we are to truly listen to one another

I'm sure there are others much smarter than me who could explain what has brought us to this point. Perhaps it’s partly to due to our culture of individualism versus community, or perceived threats of losing what's important to us, and/or a driven-ness to grab whatever we can for ourselves at the cost of what's good for the whole. And increasingly we see evidence of a lack of moral compass, an "anything goes" culture.

For some of us, our behavior is indicative of our personal unmet needs and unresolved issues. How well do we truly know ourselves and what is driving our unhappiness or anger or retaliatory behavior? What has contributed to our worldview and how open are we to seeing weaknesses or flaws in that worldview?

Jesus tells us (in Luke 12: 51) that division is inevitable. But he also preached in the Sermon on the Mount that "God blesses those who work for peace, for they will be called the children of God." (Matthew 5:9)

Maybe this Independence Day we can give more consideration to our own role in this mess and how we might reach across the dividing lines.

Photo from re-enactment of Battle of Good's Farm, The Civil War. Re-enacted at Hale Farm and Village, August 2017.  Heartbreaking to watch and imagine the great suffering.

Print your digital photos to preserve your memories!

When I look through my collection of favorite family photos, I think what a gift it is to be able to capture that one moment in time, now preserved for decades to come. This bit of photographic paper I can hold in my hand carries with it the power of memory, inspiration, and gratitude for the richness of life. A collection of photographs tells the stories of our lives, who we are, where we came from, what contributed to who we are now, what is important to us, where we are going.

Most of us have great photographs stored on our phones but few are printed, which limits their accessibility and preservation of memories. I say all this to advise you to make it a habit to regularly print at least a few of your favorite photos.  Otherwise, those precious memories will be lost forever.

Thankfully many of our ancestors went to great pains and expense to get formal portraits done on a seemingly limited budget. One of my prized photos is an exquisite portrait of my Grandfather Webb Hester as small child being held by his mother.

Beyond the formal portraits, the snapshots of daily life always bring back wonderful memories. My Dad did a good job of documenting our childhood and many of those photos still bring a smile to my face. Then as a young adult I became the unofficial family photographer and began capturing snapshots and portraits of all my family members.

Now that both of my parents have passed on, I’m so grateful for the photos I captured of them. One afternoon my parents were bragging about how they could still fit into clothes from many years past so Dad put on his Army jacket and Mom put on her wedding suit and that’s when I captured one of my favorite photos of them.

These photos were taken on film back when my nephews were little guys. It started out with them just sitting on the front steps at my Dad's house. In the frame before this, I got the idea to have them pose as the three monkeys - hear no, speak no, see no evil. It took a little trial and error but we eventually got it (sort of). 

This series always brings a big smile to my face...

Father's Day memories - 2014

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Just the other day I was talking with someone about my penchant for writing so she asked what I write. I told her about my grant writing and also mentioned my blog with much of its focus on family stories and history. She said she had wished she had journaled more, especially since she had done a lot of world travel for her work. She was interested enough to ask me for the web address for my blog. 

So that has more motivated to re-engage with my blog and regularly post. I think I will start out with posting some of the more memorable Facebook entries, especially the family memories I want to preserve.

Here's some explanation on the June 15, 2014 post:

Dad had an old recliner sitting just inside the garage bay. He enjoyed sitting there to rest from mowing or puttering in the yard. Other times he sat there just to be outside or to see who might pass by. When I went to visit I'd sit with him.  It generally wasn't long before someone would come by and pull in the drive. I'm convinced that is part of what extended his life to nearly 95 years. 

This is what I posted Father's Day 2014

Today with Dad, visiting with passers-by, Bill on his adapted tricycle that he pedals with his hands since he can't use his legs, Chris with his '48 International truck (just like Dad used to drive), and neighbor Loren on his Harley.  Chris offered to give Dad a ride in his truck but he declined.